All The Farm That Is Fit To Print

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Conspiracy Theorist

Write your own crazy theories about Conspiracy Theorist here.

Yeah, right. That's just what they want me to do. They want you to think I'm schizophrenic, but that's part of The Schizophrenia Conspiracy. And while I'm here explaining to you what a Conspiracy Theorist is, their MIBs show up in their silent black helicopters. I'm not stupid enough to reveal that I know the truth about Conspiracy Theorists.

Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll give you the official line about Conspiracy Theorist; what they want you to think. And you can think about that. And, if you decide that it doesn't really make any sense, then you can go out do some digging of your own. Maybe, just maybe, you'll learn the real truth.

A Conspiracy Theorist attributes the ultimate cause of an event or chain of events (usually political, social or historical events), or the concealment of such causes from public knowledge, to a secret and often deceptive plot by a group of powerful or influential people or organizations. Many conspiracy theories state that major events in history have been dominated by conspirators who manipulate political happenings from behind the scenes. The Conspiracy is generally evil beyond evil. And yet despite how evil they are, they never betray each other, so the conspiracy stays together for thousands of years. How they accomplish this is unexplained. It is something beyond the wisdom of our puny minds.

Conspiracy theorists in the media may be associated with Right Wing Militia Fanatics, and always seem to come off as somewhat mentally unhinged (though you and I know better, right?). This seems to be the case even when one of them catches the trail of a genuine Ancient Conspiracy or Government Conspiracy. Of course, said conspiracies have a tendency to try to silence the "kook" once they learn he's on to them, despite the fact that no one would actually believe he's telling the truth. This has the effect of:

1.If the attempt fails, it gives the theorist the Heroic Resolve he needs to unravel the conspiracy.
2.If it succeeds, whoever investigates the murder is bound to stumble upon the conspiracy, particularly if higher-ups try to hush it up.

Okay. That's the official line. The rest is up to you. I've left a few clues below to follow up if you want to find the real story. Be careful. The reptilians are watching you.

Oh, and if you ever get the urge to buy a copy of The Catcher in the Rye, for God's sake, resist!

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