Star Trek Quotes

By Donna Sundblad

"Beam me up, Scotty," is considered one of the funny Star Trek quotes by Trekkies, but for a different reason. Those words were never said on the iconic original series, yet the often quoted phrase became part of pop culture.

I'm a Doctor Not a ... Quotes
Star Trek humor ranges from corny to subtle. Fans grew accustom to the "I'm a doctor not a…." one liners made famous by DeForest Kelley who played Dr. Leonard McCoy in the original series. This character affectingly known as Bones by Captain Kirk uttered this phrase often enough that it became a catch phrase in parodies and jokes making sport of the show. Here are a few examples of "I'm a doctor" humor:

"I'm a doctor not an escalator," as Dr. McCoy attempts to helps a young a pregnant woman up a steep rocky landscape of a foreign planet while on an away mission. McCoy's "I'm a doctor" statement added an element of levity to a tense chase scene.

In the episode "The Devil in the Dark" Dr. McCoy is ordered to the planet's surface once again, this time to treat an alien known as a Horta. McCoy examines the multi-legged creature to find it is made of stone. He looks at Spock and says, "I'm a doctor not a bricklayer."

Funny Star Trek Quotes from The Next Generation
The Next Generationcast members got along well on and off the set, which translates into the chemistry that made this Star Trek series so successful. But without good writing, even the best actors cannot pull off a hit series that remains popular 20 years later.

Worf
Worf, played by actor Michael Dorn, is a Klingon with no sense of humor. His intense warrior-like personality living among a mostly human crew added regular humor to The Next Generation series. One such example is found in the episode titled "Qpid".

In this episode, the crew of the Enterprise find themselves deposited on a planet resembling Earth. This unexpected trip is the handiwork of the mischievous Q. Picard's Starfleet uniform is replaced by a Robin Hood costume. He explains to the others that they are in Sherwood Forest and that the crew members with him are supposed to be his Merry Men. Worf replies, "I protest. I am not a merry man." It's a perfect one liner delivered by the straight man.

One of the things that make these quotes funny is to know the character. Regular viewers saw the humor while casual watchers might have missed it. Worf's stoic personality often led to funny Star Trek quotes such as this one as he interacts with Counselor Deanna Troi in the episode titled "Parallels". Worf comments on "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow," the song his friends sing for him at his surprise birthday party. Worf says, "That is not a Klingon song."

Troi replies, "It wasn't easy to translate. There doesn't seem to be a Klingon word for jolly."

Data
The android Data, played by Brent Spiner, also provided plenty of opportunities for humor in TNG. Some of this emerged from his attempts to be human by mimicking their behavior. In one episode where Data tries to understand humor, he decides to talk with Guinan for advice. She tells him, "You spoiled the joke. It could have been your timing."Data's reply: "My timing is digital." His literal interpretation adds a light hearted moment that leaves viewers chuckling.

Star Trek and Humor
Humor abounds throughout the Star Trek universe. If you missed it, it's probably because you don't know the characters or history well enough. Start your journey over with a set of DVDs from your favorite series. As you become familiar with the shows, you'll enjoy the jokes and funny quotes that have entertained for years. If you start at the begining with the original series, you're sure not to miss a thing.